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Baby boomers are used to embracing grandparenting head on. Some of us have moved across the country to be with our grandchildren; others regularly bridge distances via FaceTime and Skype; many take pride in kayaking, rock climbing, jumping on trampolines, and doing yoga with our grandkids. Before the new coronavirus and COVID-19 came along, many grandparents were confident we could do it all. The threats posed by this new virus are humbling and present new conundrums. As schools and daycares temporarily close, many grandparents are wrestling with questions surrounding whether they can safely spend time with their grandchildren, and possibly help their adult children with childcare.
COVID-19 affects older people more severely than younger people — and children are notorious for spreading germs, notes Claire McCarthy, MD, a pediatrician at Boston Children’s Hospital and faculty editor for Harvard Health Publishing.
“To be safe, grandparents really shouldn’t be doing childcare,” says Dr. McCarthy. “Even if the child is a baby who doesn’t go out into the world much at all, it’s impossible to be sure that the baby’s parents won’t bring anything home. As sad as it is, older adults are the ones who really need to isolate themselves. In a time of crisis, it’s natural to want to be with family and help them, but in this particular crisis families need to think differently — and keep grandparents safe.”
(See the Coronavirus Resource Center for information on how the virus spreads, how to protect yourself, and who is at highest risk for serious illness.)
Given current public health recommendations to practice social distancing — even with beloved grandchildren — many grandparents are grappling with two questions. What can I do to stay connected with my grandchildren? How can I help their parents, who may be working from home and trying to cope with their children being home from school?
Long-distance grandparents often become incredibly skilled and creative with FaceTime, Skype, and other ways of connecting face-to-face. Those who haven’t yet developed these skills can begin building them now. Guided by the age of your grandchildren, their interests, and the nature of your relationship, you can establish a daily meet-up online to read books, play games, or do activities.
Many adult children are struggling to balance work and homeschooling. Others may need a break from 24/7 childrearing. You could help by:
We grandparents take a lot of pride in the energy, youthfulness, creativity, and love that we offer our grandchildren. COVID-19 may temporarily alter the format of our relationships with our grandchildren. This is humbling but it need not be crippling. Whether via FaceTime or Zoom or even old-fashioned telephone, there remain all sorts of meaningful and joyful ways that we can be with our grandchildren despite any distance between us.
For more information on coronavirus and COVID-19, see the Harvard Health Publishing Coronavirus Resource Center.
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